Friday, May 10, 2013

Rock 'n Roll Soul

I wait in anticipation.They nod at me, signaling they're ready.
I take a deep breath and stand up, knees shaking, my stomach in knots.
I feel hesitation,
Trepidation tries to tell my feet to run away.
They want to listen.

I step up on stage and turn towards the audience. 
The lights burn my eyes, I hear the noise in the room die down a little, anticipation buzzes in the room.

I turn around and nod at my drummer to signal that I'm ready,
he claps his sticks together:"1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4"
The instruments begin to play, a wave of energy envelopes me.
The sound pushes me into the air, I am transported into the sky, no one else is there, I am in my Happy Place.

I begin to sing.


This is my stage, I own the next few moments of the night. I dance, I jump, I rage. I feel the melodies course through my veins, I feel invincible, I am a fierce warrior, a super hero, I am ALIVE. Each note mixes with my blood, each lyric becomes my emotion.There is nothing else.

The beats of the drum punctuate my pulse,
The deep throng of the bass guitar animates my sinews,
Guitar strums jolt my life force.
They pull my voice to ascend to the universe that welcomes
my humble gift.


Song after song plays, time stops and goes full throttle at the same time. I sing my last note, my feet touch the stage, I return to earth. Applause brings me back to reality. I shout my thanks, sweat dripping in my eyes, I feel drunk, I feel like I've ingested lavish amounts of caffeine. My heart is throuncing, like it is about to hurl out of my chest. Elation and Rapture are words, insufficient to describe how I feel.

I sit down, I feel the aches and pain in my joins, my throat is dry, my clothes are soaked, sticking to my skin. For a few hours I am quiet, I nurse my beer, have a few cigarettes. I feel drained, I listen to the other performers. First I cringe at little mistakes I knew I made, chastise myself for this and that,then I slowly recall those few sweet moments that I owned. How I flew into space, touched the stars and danced with the moon. Nothing else matters, no missed pitches or cues. Not important.

I begin to re-animate, I begin to feel a warm rush of exultation rush into every crevice of my being. Euphoria tingles from the tips of my toes, to my fingers, to every split-end of every strand of hair on my head.

There is no feeling like it, no experience to match. It is bliss hopped up on an energy drink. Little can compare.


I am hooked, addicted,

me and my rock 'n roll soul.

Next time can't come soon enough.



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