The Last Chapter

Now or never before the new year, as this struggling writer prepares to pen the final chapter of this paper. Which upon completion will give him the face to enter the next phase of the big big rat race.

(a long overdue assignment to pass a subject)

But something is wrong. For after the hours that turned into days of finding inspiration - the hours and days of masterful procrastination, of hours and days of sensual stimulation, nothing is happening.

The words are not coming. (Coitus interruptus, for lack of a better term)

For even if the most dead of all deadlines is fast approaching, the words are not coming.

Coffee.

Nothing

Another cup.

Still nothing.

Exercise makes the brain work they say.

So ten push ups, ten pull ups, then sit ups, chin ups.

Still nothing.

The die is cast, now he must call the bet. Otherwise fold after going all in.

The hours are marching in.

How about hunger? Done that. Did not eat for 2 days.

Only when all seems lost does hope come out of horizon, he brings out his ultimate weapon of mass destruction.

The cobra…

Energy drink! Cobra energy drink. One bottle. And still nothing. So he wonders maybe the venom 

needs a sting. Sting energy drink! (red)

Still nothing! But his heart is already pounding.

Hmm he wonders if the Cobra’s Sting is not Enough, and so he figures he needs the charge of a bull, a Red Bull!(energy drink).

And  wanting to make sure , Lipovitan (why not?)  Hell energy drink(of course), and add in another cup of brewed coffee.

His heart raced (or slowed down, he neither knows nor cares) but time has become immaterial.

flowing sweat from the exercise and the three cups of hot coffee stopped dead on their tracks, his growling stomach from not eating for two days continued to growl, his throbbing heart from the Bull-headed Cobra’s sting named Lipovitan from Hell continued to throb.. all frozen in a space-time continuum.

And then, and only then, does he find enlightenment, satori, divine inspiration. The answers to the secrets of humanity-  are there aliens? Will he ever find true love? Is Rizal really gay? Did god make dinosaurs? Will the Philippines ever have two or three internet providers?will the dutertards win or the dilawans? Why are mosquitoes buzzing on my ear?

And he finds himself transported in the 7^th dimension as he looks at himself finally writing the paper. The paper which is in actuality a time-deprived story about a writer who finally writes a long awaited story but does not fini